paper train

I'll take the back streets home, so I can inhale on key to the yellow light.

Speed through like I don't care.

My only desperate plea was not for her ears.

I cannot breathe when she looks at me.



In awkward remembrance I know that smile,

too loose, too happy even after this night mare.

Even after my wordless dances.

There is a man down the road, I'm told hes got the goods.

Maybe someday I will show him what I got.



Two tickets to Panama City and a dire need for change.

Hop a plane, get me to the jet stream.

Suck me down, triangular and cutthroat.

I'll make it appoint to read more.

I'll make it appoint not to care.



I wish for the world to greet me, just as it did two decades ago.

Wide awake and screaming.



Its true what they say about me--

every fucking word.

And I like it when they talk.

Let them look at me with eyes like glue, let them stick to the walls of their
convictions.

I dare you baby, make a move.



If it weren't for the hours of self medication and easy listening

my heart would have stopped beating.

Every day is a journal write.

Every minute is one I wish would tick by.

I'm ready to admit now that I want life in its fullness, but i'm still waiting for
it to find me.

I can admit I'm slow on the uptake,

the take down. And my foot falls are cracked

and I am counting on the kill.



I waxed the floor with my own feathers.

Slipping through powdered wings and ankle deep in tattered promises.

Keep sakes. Treasure chest of aftermath.

of words they can't take back.



Double 'oh seven reasons why I should pretend my bond between brambles should break.

Twelve thousand months of eager mutiny, yellowing teeth and nicotine lunches.



My stomach is empty from the window to the walls,

fighting religious icons in acid and red,

slashing the only thing we have in common.



Johnny long spent the night in my bed,

begging to be touched.

I cart off the decay and snuggle down next to concrete slabs

and washing machines.

I am unhappy, so I must look beautiful.

I am passionate so I must be forgiven.

I am ash and blue lipped anger.

I've got hope on a string and I 'aint lettin' go.