c'mon

I am reminded that we are all mortal, and i, most of all am not god. well, you could have fooled me, because all of these years I have been running around with a chip on my shoulder like it actually mattered. and now, now the earth smells like it did when i was five and in a green velvet dress. thats a good thing, great even. for the first time in years (in year?) i am touching like a new born.

i spent two hours yesterday testing myself. i met someone. someone who i can't place. someone familiar to something lost. but someone so different and frightening. he watched me as i sat on the grass, and i let him see me. see, this is where the testing comes in. i let him see what was there, and he didn't leave. he stayed, and he smiled and made eye contact and even touched my arm like a lover would. perhaps this is when i realize that the gate that i have kept so locked, so well guarded has been breached. but more than that, i have let the doors swing open, and i have ushered in a flock of new ideas, new hope. im not ashamed to say that i know him better than i know that one year and change.