its too darn hot

The rest of my evening will be spent lounging in my bed, listening to ella fitzgerald, and reading harry potter 4. I can't help but think that I am a fraud. every window seems to be slamming in my face.


i conned myself into feeling again, when i so wisely promised i would never open again. the only slits between storm clouds seem to be the stars and moon. there was sun again today, and i did not take that lightly, although i didn't get to spend as much time as i may have liked outside. i would not say that the day was a waste. a good learning opportunity if nothing else.



im tired of pretending to be someone im not. it just doesn't seem like i can ever get it right, tight, and im jealous in spite. of... of everything. there are very few real things left.
talk to ella.